Highland Stallion Read online

  * * * * *

  Zach awoke, his heart slamming against his ribs. He glanced around the dim cottage and gazed at Sophia sleeping peacefully beside him. His throat constricted with a barrage of emotions. Rage. Pain. Fury. Disgust.

  He’d soiled her with his bloody hands. Rebellion or not, victim or not, he’d murdered men. No semblance of a normal life could undo his past. What would Sophia do if she realized what he was capable of? He didn’t want to think about it.

  She reached for him in her sleep, but he slipped from the bed and left the cottage.

  * * * * *

  Sophia awoke to a dark, chilly room. Rain tapped on the roof and thunder rumbled in the distance. The fire burned low in the hearth, but since sleeping with Zach she rarely noticed the cold. Shivering, she edged closer to him, but found the bed empty.

  “Zach?” she called, reaching for her robe. The floor felt cold beneath her bare feet as she lit a lantern on the table and glanced around the cottage. Perhaps he’d gone to relieve himself?

  She jumped back in the bed, pulling a blanket around herself and waited. Moments passed and he didn’t return.

  Slipping from the bed, she tugged on her boots and donned her cloak. The thunder sounded closer now, and lightning lit the room.

  She stepped outside and shouted, “Zach?”

  Across the field, almost to the woods, shone the silhouette of Zach in his half-equine form, a sledge piled high with boulders dragging behind him. As he leaned into the harness, his hooves slipped on the wet grass. He managed to keep his footing as he dragged the sledge around the field. She knew by looking it surpassed the weight for an average Highlander’s maximum capability. What was he doing practicing for the competition at this time of night and in this kind of weather?

  She watched as he circled the field several times, wondering when he would stop. Surely dragging such a load for so long wasn’t good for any Horseman, even a Highlander, and she had no idea how long he’d been up before she realized he’d gone.

  Brushing rain-soaked hair from her face and narrowing her eyes against the wet wind, she trudged across the field.

  “Zach!” she shouted, but he didn’t seem to hear her.

  As she neared, she heard him panting above the wind. Every muscle in his body stood out hard and tense. Distended veins pressed against his rain-slicked coat. His jaw was taut and his eyes gleamed through tendrils of rain-soaked hair. His sharp-tipped ears were pinned close to his head.

  “Zach!” she called again.

  Either he just didn’t hear her or refused to look at her as he continued pulling the impossible load. He slipped again, nearly dropping to his knees. Righting himself, he leaned into the harness, pulling hard towards the forest.

  “Stop it!” She ran to catch up with him and grasped his arm. His flesh felt dangerously hot beneath her touch. She tugged him harder in panic. “Zach, what the hell are you trying to do?”

  “Leave me alone, Sophia! I’m busy!”

  “Doing what? Killing yourself?”

  “If the mines didn’t kill me, nothing will!” he snapped, half dragging her as he continued hauling the sledge.

  “Tell me what’s wrong!” Her stomach twisted at the desperate expression in his eyes. Something had upset him, but she couldn’t understand what. The last she remembered, they’d fallen asleep after making love. Her fingers bit into his arm. “Why are you shutting me out, damn you!”

  He stopped suddenly, staring skyward and gasping for breath.

  Sophia stepped in front of him and placed her hands on his hot, heaving chest. His heart slammed against her palms. “Zach, please talk to me.”

  His glistening eyes met hers. “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  He shook his head.

  “Please stop this and come back to bed,” she pleaded.

  “Not anymore. I can’t share your bed again.”

  “What?” Sophia’s heart pounded. What was wrong with him? The horror and desolation in his expression made him look as if he’d just met with the devil himself. She couldn’t bear knowing he was in pain yet having no way to help him. Flinging her arms around him, she caressed his man-back. “Please come back to the house with me.”

  Slowly, his arms wrapped around her and he held her close. Locked in their embrace, they stood in the rain for a long moment before he unhitched the harness. As they walked back to the house, she noted he kept his eyes cast down and his wings pressed close to his sides.

  In the barn, she turned to light a lantern and felt the floor shake. Her gaze snapping over her shoulder, she stared at Zach who stood, panting, in Huform. He shuddered before placing his harness aside.

  “I’ll stay here tonight,” he said.

  “Come back to the house.”

  He shook his head.

  Tears stung Sophia’s eyes as she looked up at him. “Why don’t you want me anymore?”

  His brow furrowed and the corners of his grim mouth seemed to quiver for a second. He took her face in his hands. “I want you more than anything, but I can’t have you, Sophia. Not a man like me.”

  “You’re everything I want, Zach! I won’t have any other man.”

  “Sophia, there are things about me that I—” He shook his head. “I’m not for you.”

  “You’re my dream lover!”

  He dropped his hands and turned away, his broad back expanding even more as he sighed. “I should go. Find another job.”

  “No!” she snarled, stepping in front of him and pointing a finger in his chest. “Don’t you dare quit on me!”

  “I don’t—”

  “You can’t run from life, Zach!”

  “You think I don’t know that?” Anger sparked his eyes.

  “Then you should know you can’t run from me. We belong together.”

  “You deserve better.”

  She stared at him, shaking her head. “I give up.”

  Unable to keep the tears from her eyes, Sophia turned and ran back to the house. Flinging herself on the bed, she cried into the pillow. Everything had been so perfect. What had happened to him? Why wouldn’t he trust her enough to confide?

  She heard the door open and moments later found herself wrapped in Zach’s arms.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered against her hair. “I never want to hurt you, Sophia.”

  She tilted her face to his. His large, gleaming eyes stared into hers. “Talk to me, Zach. Trust me.”

  “I do trust you. I just can’t talk about it. Not now.”

  Sophia sighed. “All right. Hold me, then.”

  He stretched out on his side and pulled her to the length of his body. Sophia closed her eyes and folded her hands over his, just below her breasts. At least he wasn’t leaving. Yet would there be hope for them if he didn’t learn to confide in her? What could be so terrible that it inspired fear in a creature with his power? It had to be the mines. She knew he’d suffered terribly, but unless he talked to her, she couldn’t share his pain. If he kept his past locked inside, he would never grow beyond it. Never.

  * * * * *

  Sophia kicked a stone with the toe of her boot as she trudged across the grass towards Inez and Terra’s cottage. She carried a basket filled with sewing supplies over one arm and a loaf of cinnamon bread tied in a cloth in her other hand.

  She hoped Inez would be home, since she needed to talk to someone. It had been a week since she and Zach had last made love—a week since he’d engaged in intimate conversation with her. He seemed to have retreated to the sullen, distant man she’d met on the hillside when he’d first arrived in Hornview.

  He worked from sunrise to long past sunset, doing repairs, chopping wood, and practicing for the pulling contest that seemed to consume him. She started to believe he was intentionally avoiding her and everyone else as well. Moor had visited several times, asking Zach to join him at the men’s bathhouse in the village or a pleasure flight. Zach had refused, relying on the work excuse again.

  She knew he was
miserable. The desolation in his eyes was painful to see. She’d tried everything, from pleading to screaming, to communicate with him. None of it worked and only earned her one of his guilty expressions.

  Two days ago, he’d stopped sleeping in the house and spent his nights outside or in the barn. She didn’t bother asking him to change his mind. He obviously didn’t want to be with her anymore, yet she sensed his desire at times when he thought she wasn’t looking.

  Sophia walked up the cobbled path and knocked on the cottage door. Moments later Inez answered, Canyon on her hip.

  “Would you mind some company?” Sophia asked.

  “I’d love it. Come on in.” Inez stepped aside. “Terra and I got back from a Gathering a couple of hours ago and now he’s off training for the race.”

  Sophia walked to the table and began unwrapping her bread.

  “Umm. Looks good,” Inez said, placing Canyon on the floor while she made tea.

  “Terra tells me Zach is entering the pulling contest this week.”

  “Yes. It’s his obsession,” Sophia muttered.

  Inez laughed. “You know how Horsemen can be. Terra says it’s his last year racing, but as long as he still has the strength, I don’t think he’ll quit. Besides, they’re both young and strong. Why shouldn’t they flaunt all that male power and other such foolishness?”

  “I suppose.”

  Inez glanced at her friend and raised an eyebrow. “Sophia, what’s wrong?”

  Sophia shook her head and sighed. To her annoyance, tears welled in her eyes but she forced them back.

  “What is it?” Inez pulled a chair beside her and straddled it.

  “It’s Zach. Something’s wrong with him. He’s so unhappy and I don’t know how to help him. He won’t talk to me.”

  “Do you have any idea what it’s about?”

  “I think it has something to do with the mines. He said he’s not the right man for me, but I know he is. Things were fine for a while then one night— He won’t even sleep in the house anymore. Sometimes he has awful dreams. When he wakes up, he’s not himself. I don’t know what to do.”

  Inez rested a hand on Sophia’s knee and held her gaze. “I might be wrong, but I think I know what’s bothering him. Remember how I told you before you moved to Hornview, two men tried to kill Terra and me? One of them did nearly get Terra and I killed him?”

  “Yes. I remember. It sounded awful.”

  “Even though I knew I had to kill him or sacrifice Terra, what I did sickened me. I was even worried that Terra would think less of me.”

  “That’s crazy, Inez. You had to do it.”

  “I know that now, but it doesn’t wipe out the emotions attached to the memory. From what Terra, Moor, and Susana have told me, Zach killed many slavers during the rebellion. Most of the rebels did, but Zach led them. From the very little I saw of him, he seems like a gentle person.”

  Sophia smiled. “He is.”

  “I think he’s haunted by what he did.”

  “But he had to! The slavers killed many Horsemen and humans. They needed to rebel!”

  “Tell him,” Inez suggested. “Let him know how you feel. Maybe if he knows, he’ll talk to you.”

  “I will tell him. Thank you for the good advice.”

  Inez patted her friend’s knee. “Now can we cut the bread? I’m starved.”

  * * * * *

  Sophia quivered inside as she watched Zach drag his sledge piled with logs across the field to the barn. Drawing a deep breath, she approached him, prepared to try Inez’s advice. Part of her wondered if Inez was right about Zach rejecting her due to emotional scars left by his experiences in the mines, or if he simply realized he didn’t want her as a companion.

  Pausing, she placed the basket on the tree stump in front of her cottage and tried to still her trembling hands. She glanced in his direction and found him staring at her, though he looked away quickly.

  She approached. “Zach?”

  “Yes,” he replied, not so much as glancing at her.

  “Can we talk?”

  “If you want.”

  “Would you look at me?”

  He turned, his eyes burning into hers. Dirt and random blades of grass streaked his perspiring face and man-torso. Dust from the forest and fields layered his equine coat. More than anything, she wanted to feel his arms around her, pressing her close to his hot, powerful body.

  “If I ask you something, will you please answer me honestly?”

  “Of course.”

  “Have you been avoiding me because you don’t like me anymore?”

  His brow furrowed. “No. I care about you more than anyone.”

  “Are you avoiding me because of something in your past? The mines, maybe?”

  His chest expanded with a startled breath.

  “That’s it, isn’t it?” she asked.

  “You have no idea what I’m capable of,” he murmured.

  “Isn’t everyone capable of violence when pushed to it?”

  “I murdered men with my…” He glanced at the dirt-stained, callused palms opened in front of him. “…with my hands. I never thought I could do that, but I did over and over. Sometimes I feel like it wasn’t even me, like I was watching someone else.”

  “You had to get out of there,” she said.

  “Don’t I disgust you? I crushed the life out of them, felt their blood on my hands.” He turned away, but Sophia grasped his arm.

  “How much of your blood did they spill over the years?” she said. “They took you against your will and made your life hell, all for their profit. Zach, you’re the sweetest, most gentle man I’ve ever known. If you did any act of violence it was because you were driven to it.”

  His gaze met hers, tainted with old memories.

  “I love you, Zach.” She took his hands in hers, squeezing them with all the affection she felt.

  Sweeping her into his arms, he held her tightly, his face buried in her shoulder as he whispered, “Gods, I love you, Sophia.”

  He raised his head and she cupped his cheek as her gaze fixed on his. “Zach, I want to make you as happy here as you were hurt in the mines.”

  “I haven’t the words…” he whispered before covering her lips with a chaste, tender kiss.

  “Please don’t ever let anything come between us.”

  “I promise I won’t. Not ever.”

  “Come to the house and make love with me?”

  After kissing her again, he placed her on her feet and unhitched himself from the sledge. “Let me clean up first.”

  Her body brushed his. “I’ll meet you at the house. Don’t be long.”

  “I won’t.”

  Smiling at him over her shoulder, she headed for the cottage. Her insides churned with happiness and excitement. It seemed like forever since they’d last made love, but more importantly, Zach was hers again. This time she knew it would be forever.

  In the cottage, Sophia undressed and slipped on a robe. Rather than wait for him, she walked, barefoot, to the lake where Zach had already waded in. His gaze followed her as she dropped the robe in the grass and walked, naked, into the water.

  He approached, water streaking his man-torso and darkening his equine coat. Water slapped against her waist and misted her breasts as he took her in his arms and kissed her. Placing her back on her feet, he cupped her breasts in his callused palms and gently stroked his thumbs over her nipples.

  “Get on my back,” he said in a husky voice.

  He gave her an arm up. Her bare legs clasped his sides as her palms caressed his equine shoulders and ran up his man-back, stroking and kneading rock-hard muscle. Brushing aside his thick brown hair, she used her knees to lift herself high enough on his back to kiss his nape. Her lips roamed over his shoulders and down his spine. Using the tip of her tongue, she traced several of the long, white scars marring his otherwise smooth human skin.

  Zach moaned deep in his chest, his head arching back before he waded into the lake. She set
tled herself comfortably on his back, feeling his powerful muscles bunch and stretch as he swam across the lake.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Zach.” She gripped his chest, her fingers circling his nipples before trailing lower and fondling his navel.

  “Without you to talk to and be with, I had no happiness.” He glanced at her over his shoulder. “But I only want what’s best for you—”

  “You’re best for me, Zach. I never knew what it was to feel like a woman before I met you.”

  “I’ll always try to make you happy, Sophia.”

  “Just being with you makes me happy.”

  As they reached the opposite side of the lake, she felt his hooves meet the ground. Soon they were cantering across the empty field. Sophia clung to him, her cheek pressed to his back, her hands stroking his chest and abdomen.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “Someplace I found while flying a few days ago.” Zach’s pace increased to a gallop as he called, “Hang on! We’re going up!”

  Thrills coursed through Sophia as Zach’s velvety wings spread and beat. Within seconds they were airborne. She narrowed her eyes against the cutting wind as he raced across the sky. Cliffs loomed in the distance and beyond that the ocean.

  “It’s so beautiful up here!” she said.

  “Sharing it with you makes it even more beautiful.”

  They both had long since dried off from their dip in the lake, but in spite of the wind, Zach’s body heat kept her pleasantly warm.

  They neared the cliffs. As Zach landed, Sophia felt a slight jounce when his hooves once again met solid ground. Except for a cave and a small patch of trees, the cliff was bare.

  Zach paused at the edge and Sophia stared at the breathtaking view. Miles of water spread as far as the eye could see. The setting sun dappled the dark blue surface. A lone gull drifted across the sky.

  “There was never a view like this in the Vertue Mountains.” Zach gazed at the ocean. “Just miles of rock.”

  “It is beautiful, but deadly. You know about the flesh-eating plants that inhabit this ocean and the one in the tropics?”